Need a pick-me-up? These funny jokes are sure to make you laugh. 

The patient who came to my radiology office for abdominal X-rays was already heavily sedated, but I still had to ask her a lot of questions.
The last one was, “Ma’am, where is your pain right now?”
Through her medicated fog she answered, “He’s at work!”
Bobby Langley,
of Rocky Mount

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!”
My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, pastor.”
The pastor then questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
He whispered back, “I’m in the Secret Service.”

Late one night in the capitol, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
The mugger shouted, “Give me your money!”
Indignant, the affluent man replied, “You can’t do this — I’m a U.S. Congressman!”
“In that case,” replied the robber, “give me my money!”

Read & Connect

NCField&FamilySummer2026
Flip through the pages of the Summer 2026 edition of North Carolina Field and Family magazine. In this issue, find vineyard adventures at U-pick muscadine grape farms, explore the oasis of Manteo, learn more about on-farm markets, enjoy peak berry season with summer berry recipes, read about riveting research on hemp fiber and so much more.

Get the latest news, recipes, articles and more, right to your inbox.

Connect with us